Who do you miss the most during holidays

Our personal story of how to make the Holidays brighter after loosing a loved one.

My story begins with losing two sons, a  father and mother in relatively a short time.  Many people ask me how I seem to make it during the holidays.  I can not lie, it is difficult.  After losing my first son, I had other children to care for, and felt that was my call to duty.  I put on a false face, ignored my personal feelings  and some how  made it through the season.  As each season appeared I started to ask myself what would my loved ones want for this family? How can we overcome the feeling of loss and celebrate their lives, during the holidays and make our holiday brighter.  The have found that  not to think about the loss, but focus on the fond memories I will always have of them during the holiday season.




Believe me when I say that it does get easier with time.  Each holiday season I start to have memories of my loved ones.   I remember when my sons where young (before they found out that I was Santa) and the anticipation on their faces of the upcoming holiday season.  I could see the gift of their very first bicycles and

the anticipation of going outside to  ride them, even though there was several inches of snow on the ground (we lived in Colorado).  I see visions of me in the kitchen preparing all of their favorite foods, and I begin to notice a smile appearing and an unbelievable sense of comfort.







I also reflect on my child hood memories of how my parents made every holiday special for myself and my siblings.  The trimming of the Christmas tree every year, the new pair of pajamas our Mother was sure to buy.  Even though my parents were of the working class, we thought we were the richest kids in the world, because we always seemed to get that one special gift that was on our list.  Again, a smile begins to appear and I no longer fell a sense of lost.

Today, I make a mental note on all of my precious memories and we do things differently for the holidays in remembrance of our loved ones.  During our holiday meal, We asked that each family member shares a funny story of our loved ones.  I start to see smiles coming to  each family members face and laughter is heard all around us.We also have a special ornament to remind us of there presence and value they added to our lives. Our family is rather large and we used to draw names and set the gift price at $20.00.  Today, we collectively give the gift of $20 to a charity in our loved ones name.

I would love to share with our readers of how you make the holidays brighter after losing a loved one.  Please share your comments below.